


It's Just Not My Bag

by astraldylan



Category: Scorpion (TV 2014)
Genre: Bisexual Paige Dineen, Coming Out, Gen, Genderfluid Character, Genderfluid Happy Quinn, LGBTQ Character, LGBTQ Themes, but there's no hint of anyone being lgbtq, listen i love this show, so i'm here to change that
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-04-12
Updated: 2017-04-12
Packaged: 2018-10-17 22:06:59
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,716
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10603221
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/astraldylan/pseuds/astraldylan
Summary: “Of course we're friends, you're like, the first non-genius I could ever stand. It's just that all the flowers and pink taffeta, it's just not my bag. I'm a genius, not a cheerleader―”..."Not how I meant it to sound."________________In which Happy's cheerleader comment has almost a completely different meaning.





	

**Author's Note:**

> They say to write the stories you want to read, so that's what I've done. This fic is essentially a rewrite of two scenes from 3x20, Broken Wind, featuring my headcanon that Happy is genderfluid. (I've written Happy as using he/him pronouns throughout this fic just fyi).

“Let's go over your wedding to-do list.” Paige starts pacing slowly around the lift. “Every item we get through the closer we are to Cabe and Sly getting up here.”

  
Happy stops leaning on the pole and throws his hands in the air. “No. Thank you.”

 

This is absolutely the last thing he wants on his mind right now. The first reason being that he’d rather focus his attention on the situation at hand, as he and Paige were hanging precariously in a repurposed ski-lift carriage that was tethered to a wind mill. The second reason is that, Happy Quinn is _not_ a feminine person. Even on a female day, Happy still dislikes any association with justs about anything traditionally feminine. On male days, like today, he vehemently despises any association between him and any sort of femininity whatsoever. In short, no, in this very moment, Happy Quinn doesn’t want to talk about any wedding plans with Paige Dineen.

  
Happy sighs and sits on a crate as Paige continues. “We have to occupy our minds. First thing: flowers. Okay I like calla lilies; roses are nice; white stephanotis are beautiful.”

 

“I don't wanna do this,” Happy says with a large enough amount of exasperation so that maybe, just maybe, Paige will get the hint.

  
Unfortunately, Paige takes Happy’s protest as a cue to change the topic but still maintains the overall topic of “wedding plans.” Paige’s insistence on harping on asinine and irrelevant (for the moment at least) topics is her plan to keep both her and Happy calm. Happy knows this of course, logically. Still, it’s irritating. Beyond irritating.

 

“Fine, fine, let's talk location. A beach wedding is romantic—”

“Okay would you just shut it already?” Happy snaps. He sees the relatively offended look on her face and looks away from her, eyes wide. He doesn’t mean to offend her, surely Paige knows that.

 

Now is the time that Toby chimes in over the comms. That’s right, Happy forgot that the entire team was able to listen to this conversation.

 

“Guys, right now is not the best time for fighting. It's a very good time for teamwork, though.” Way to state the obvious.

  
“Quiet, Toby.”

  
“Yes, dear,” Toby responds. Dear. It’s a gender neutral term, so Toby can use it in reference to Happy whenever, whether or not Happy is a woman that day, and avoid accidentally outing his fiance. Happy realizes that Toby, being able to listen in on the conversation, has likely picked up on why he is growing so irritated.

 

Walter makes some remark about Toby and Happy acting as if they have been married for years. Happy ignores it.  
  
Happy focuses his attention back to Paige. “Look, I'm just not into talking to you about the wedding, okay?”

 

Happy’s telling the truth; Paige should have no doubt about that. Happy feels his heart rate increase. It’s illogical that this should happen; this is just a conversation. This doesn’t happen usually in the beginnings of any other argument, (because this is clearly turning into one).

 

Paige and Toby had previously referred to Happy and Walter as robots because they “didn’t have emotions.” Happy used to believe this, but has since realized that that statement isn’t the full truth. Happy and Walter clearly do experience emotions, if you look closely enough. Happy loves Toby, and loves the other members of Scorpion in a familial sort of way. Walter loves Paige, though he’ll never admit it, and he loved Megan. He loves the other members of Scorpion, too. Walter and Happy both experience fear, anger, frustration, stress, and sadness. Clearly neither Happy nor Walter is a robot, but rather, because their brains are wired so differently from non-genius brains, they both inwardly experience and outwardly express emotions in a different manner than the other team members do. But that doesn’t mean they don’t have emotions at all.

 

So, it actually made perfect, logical sense as to why this current conversation with Paige is making Happy nervous, both physically and emotionally. Given the smallest nudge, the conversation could easily shift to Happy’s gender fluidity, and Happy isn’t sure if he wants to open this dialogue with Paige just yet. Scratch that. Happy’s currently overactive sympathetic nervous system is a clear indication that no, this change in topic should definitely not take place right now.

“Right, because we're only friends-ish,” Paige deadpans.

  
“We're friends.” Happy stands up from the crate and turns towards Paige. He needs to stop this from getting any worse, without bringing up any touchy subjects. “Of course we're friends, you're like, the first non-genius I could ever stand. It's just that all the flowers and pink taffeta, it's just not my bag. I'm a genius, not a cheerleader―”

 

Happy sees the stunned look on Paige’s face.

 

Shit.

 

He realizes how Paige may have taken the comment in the wrong way, though that was never his intent.

 

Fuck.

 

“Not how I meant it to sound.” True. Fact.

  
“Depends. Did you mean for it to sound obnoxious and rude? Because if so, you were right on the money.”

 

 _That’s not how I meant for that to sound!_ Happy thinks.

  
“It came out wrong.” Happy starts scrambling, trying to pick up the pieces and rectify an already-broken situation as much as possible.

 

It really did come out wrong, whether or not Paige believes that. You know when you say something, and your brain has all the correct details but your mouth screws up the delivery so you hope that whoever is listening can extrapolate the missing information in your sentence? This was one of those times. Happy said genius, because he is one, and cheerleader because he’s not. Genius, as opposed to other possible adjectives or nouns, in part because all the other geniuses he’s met have been men, and Happy is a man today so the word genius was the appropriate word to use in this contest. Cheerleader, because a stereotypical cheerleader is often seen as the epitome of femininity, something with Happy does not, nor ever will, embody. The use of genius and cheerleader was meant to contrast masculinity and femininity, respectively.

  
“No, it came out accurately. Y-you guys love facts, you just stated one. You're a genius, I'm a dumb cheerleader, and I'm too stupid to be friends with you.”

 

So that’s how Paige perceived it, as an insult to her intelligence. Yes, Paige’s IQ didn’t measure up to the geniuses’, but her EQ was far more advanced than theirs and has been integral to successfully solving a case on many occasions.

  
"Paige," Happy interjects. If he can get a word in, maybe he can reassure her.

  
“Don't worry, because for the next few minutes of your life this stupid pom-pom girl won't bother you anymore. Oh, by the way, I went to the Nationals and I was top of the pyramid, baby.”

 

Top of the pyramid is pretty impressive, Happy notes. Not only was Paige a cheerleader, but she was a damn good one too. Happy would try to apologize now, but even with his lower EQ he knows that now is not the time, not while Paige is still so angry, which is obvious given that Happy just offended her literally a minute ago. He’ll apologize to her when they both have two feet on the ground and aren’t in any immediate, life-threatening danger.

 

* * *

 

“You two really held onto to each other up there. Don’t know how you survived that.”

 

“Guess we did work together pretty well,” Happy begins as the paramedic walks away, leaving Happy and Paige alone.

 

“I guess so,” Paige agrees.

 

“Quick thinking on your part: counterbalancing on the cable and all. How do you know physics like that?”

 

“Cheer squad. It’s from one of our routines.” Of course it was.Thinking about the other skills Paige would’ve picked up from cheerleading makes Happy realize just how much of an ass he had been earlier, whether or not he meant to be.

 

“I’m sorry.”

 

“It’s okay. You don’t sugarcoat things and the truth is, I’m not as smart as you guys.”

 

“That’s not what I’m sorry for. Clearly we’re all smarter than you.”

 

“Oh, okay,” Paige laughs softly, attempting to brush it off, but it’s clear the comment still bothers her.

 

“Our IQs are higher than yours, but your higher EQ has saved us more times than Toby has back-up hats stashed around the garage.” Paige smiles at this.

 

“Anyway, I’m sorry for letting you think that wasn’t the reason I didn’t want your help with the wedding. That's not what I meant by the cheerleader comment.”

  
“Okay, so what did you mean?”

 

And there it is: the question that can open this whole dialogue. While Happy _could_ explain the meaning of the comment without divulging any secrets to Paige, that’s not the course of action he’s decided upon. Happy’s going to have to tell Paige about his gender identity sooner or later, so he’s going to choose the option of sooner. It still makes his heart rate increase. Stupid sympathetic nervous system. Happy glances over at Toby, who is sitting nearby and likely within earshot. Toby meets Happy’s nervous look with a supportive one. Happy takes a deep breath.

  
“Toby wants to invite half of Brooklyn to the ceremony. He says he wants to show me off.”

  
“He's proud he's marrying you; he should be. Still don't know how he pulled that off.” To be honest, Happy’s not sure how _he_ managed to pull it off either. Everyone says that Toby is lucky to have Happy, but it goes both ways really.

  
“Thing is,” Happy sits down in the ambulance beside Paige. “I'm not comfortable with being the center of attention for this kind of thing. You know, you wanna hear a lecture on combustion engines? Fine, all eyes on me. But, certain things are expected of a bride...and I do not fulfill those expectations.”

  
“Happy...you are beautiful, you're stunning.” Happy appreciates the compliment, but those weren’t the expectations in question.

  
“I am not now, nor have ever been a girly kind of girl. In fact….” Happy pauses for a moment. There’s a part of him that wants out of this conversation, but logically this conversation is inevitable and it’s already begun. It feels as if his heart is beating faster than that of a hummingbird, though that isn't humanly possible. He dips his head and runs his thumb across the bandages on his left hand. Paige doesn't say anything, she's letting Happy take his time and believe it, Happy’s grateful for the momentary silence.

 

“I am...genderfluid,” Happy looks back up at Paige, who looks both shocked and pensive, and stares past her, waiting for her to respond.

 

“Okay, which means what, exactly?”

 

“What it means is that my gender changes, usually from day to day though it can be the same for a few days at a time as well. There are days when I’m a woman, days when I’m a man, and days where I’m neither. The point is that it isn’t stagnant, hence the use of the term ‘fluid.’”

 

Happy expects Paige to question how it’s possible for one to even be genderfluid, or to be neither male nor female, but Paige makes no such comment. She merely appears to be thinking over the information that Happy has just presented her with. It’s not as if Happy can fault her for needing a moment to process what he just told her.

 

“What should I call you on days when you’re not a woman?”

 

“Whatever I am that day.”

 

“No, I meant like, in regards to pronouns and such.”

 

“She when I’m a woman, he when I’m a man, and use the singular they when I’m neither.”

 

“Okay, last question.” Happy doesn’t mind Paige’s questions as they’re indicative of acceptance, as well as a desire to more thoroughly understand, rather than outright rejection.

 

“What about today?”

 

“Today? Male.”

 

Paige’s eyes widen as she as a moment of insight, realization clearly written across her face.

“That’s why you weren’t too keen on talking about wedding plans. Looks like I was being an ass up there too.”

 

“It’s not like you knew. I forgive you. You know, I've tried dresses and makeup but it's not me, ever. I don't want to disappoint Toby. This big wedding is important to him and meeting his family is stressful enough. Doing it while I’m pretending to be something I'm not?”

  
"Happy, I just wanted to make things easier for you. I couldn't care less if we were picking out of the Vera Wang or Black and Decker. I know Toby couldn't care less too, because that wing nut is crazy in love with you. Surely he took it well.”

 

Happy chuckles. “He's not only supportive, he's _overly supportive._ He compiled a list of pet names for me which are appropriate on any day, ones for when I'm a woman, etc. He's very careful about not misgendering me, even when it comes to the smallest things.”

 

What Happy doesn't tell Paige is that it was Toby was the one who helped him realize he was genderfluid. What Happy doesn't tell Paige is that, before he had been able to put a name to what he had been feeling, he just thought it was just another thing wrong with him, something to be ashamed of, thought that he was broken.  What Happy doesn't tell Paige is that he still doesn’t fully accept himself as he is; he has moments where he thinks he’s making a big deal out of nothing and there’s times when absolutely nothing–male, female, neither–feels right and everything is disjointed and uncomfortable at the very least. What Happy doesn’t tell Paige is a lot more than what he does tell her, but what he tells her is still important and deeply personal.

 

“That’s good, better than good. I wouldn’t expect anything less because he loves everything about you, Happy. Look at him.” Paige gestures to Toby.

 

They both look at Toby, who's standing about twenty feet away. He’s holding his hat in front of his face and then he lowers it and waves over at Happy, waving at him like an infatuated schoolboy, which is a vastly appropriate description.

 

“What did I get myself into?” Happy jokes, but he wouldn't trade their relationship for all the rare motorcycle parts in the world.

 

“A wedding, and I’m not going to offer my help any more, I don’t want any more stress, but know I’m here if you need me. That offer stands for anything, not just wedding stuff, by the way.”

 

“I appreciate it. Also, don’t talk about this with the rest of the team.” It’s not like Happy has to clarify what ‘this’ is.

“You’re the only person besides Toby that knows. I’ll tell everyone eventually, but I don’t know when.”

 

“Wow, I think that’s the first time you’ve ever admitted to not knowing something.” Happy chuckles at this. His heart rate has slowed considerably, though it’s still above normal as a result of the adrenaline still in his bloodstream.

 

“Don’t worry,” Paige continues. “I won’t out you to the rest of the team. Being outed before you’re ready sucks. Believe me, I know.”

 

Happy raises an eyebrow. “You do?”

 

Paige looks away from Happy and stares off into the distance. “I had had a girlfriend for about a month during my senior year when another member of the cheer squad found out and she outed me to the entire squad. I ended leaving the squad a few weeks later because it got really awkward after that. They all acted as if I was going to hit on all of them or something, just because I’m bisexual, and they all started treating me differently. I reached a point where I just got sick of it and I quit.”

 

“It sucks that you were outed before you were ready. I’m sorry about that.”

 

“Don’t be, it’s not like you had anything to do with it. I don’t think I ever would’ve come out anyway. The timing wasn’t right. And, Happy?”

 

“Yeah?”

 

“I’m glad you told me. Thank you for trusting me enough to come out to me.”

 

“Well we’re friends...ish.” They both smile.


End file.
